By Lutfi Dervishi
A group of Dutch tourists last night joined the opposition protest with the idea that they were doing a pilgrimage near a monastery.
However, despite the calm and lack of incidents, today’s news speaks of a detailed police investigation.
While the demonstrators holding (generally satirical) placards were bidding farewell to the boulevard, some policemen we love (most diligently those in plainclothes and hoods) with a zeal that would put Sherlock Holmes to shame began a thorough investigation. They stopped 4-5 protesters, and quickly started collecting evidence at the scene.
The evidence collected and made public would confuse even the most enthusiastic detective novels. A total of 37 0.5 liter plastic water cans, 6 burnt plastic cans, 21 flares, a can filled with a liquid suspected to be petrol and a total of 3 capsules! (imagine if the New Years celebrations were investigated!)
Water bottles, apparently the most dangerous weapon used by the protesters, were taken with the same seriousness that is shown when quintals of cocaine are seized at the Port of Durrës. The seriousness was added by the investigators’ dressing as cosmonauts. Unconfirmed voices say that “saliva of the demonstrators” was also taken as material evidence to identify the perpetrators, or rather those who are greedy for the good things that this government has brought to the ungrateful people for 10 years.
In a world where DNA testing uncovers the most heinous crimes, it seems that the police we love has opened a new branch of forensics: hydrocriminology. This ground-breaking field not only uncovers the illegal activities of demonstrators using water bottles, but also is a wake-up call to the dangers of hydration manifestos.
In the annals of protest history, the investigation, which was also shown live on TV, will undoubtedly be remembered for its unique mix of songs, speeches, 5-6 Molotov cocktails, police enthusiasm and the criminalization of hydration.
As the world watches, the hope is that the thirst for democracy, like confiscated water bottles, will remain unquenched.
It remains for the Prosecution to continue the investigation started by the police and of course the court will have the last word.
It is not known if this detailed investigation to replace the protesters who will escape from the amnesty, but the important thing is that from today we have to be careful when drinking water from the can.
Meanwhile, the seized materials (empty plastic bottles and burnt bottles) will be used as raw material for the Tirana incinerator.
P.S. The Dutch tourists who stayed until the end of the demonstration asked to know when will be the next concert on the Boulevard?
