Gj\u00ebja m\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme p\u00ebr ata q\u00eb duhen \u00ebsht\u00eb komunikimi. Por, pse at\u00ebher\u00eb komunikimi n\u00eb dashuri sjell aq shum\u00eb mospajtime? Pse duhet t\u00eb kemi shum\u00eb kujdes se si komunikojm\u00eb me t\u00eb dashurin ton\u00eb?<\/p>\n
Jeni ulur n\u00eb lokalin tuaj m\u00eb t\u00eb dashur apo keni shkuar n\u00eb ndonj\u00eb ndej\u00eb dhe p\u00ebrnj\u00ebher\u00eb ndiheni si njeriu m\u00eb i vetmuar n\u00eb bot\u00eb. E pyesni veten: a thua \u00e7ka \u00ebsht\u00eb aq e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme dhe p\u00ebr \u00e7far\u00eb flasin njer\u00ebzit p\u00ebrreth teje k\u00ebshtu me or\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00ebra? Zakonisht p\u00ebrgjigjja n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb pyetje \u00ebsht\u00eb: asgj\u00eb. Pra, edhe kur nuk thuhet asgj\u00eb ajo, biseda \u00ebsht\u00eb gj\u00ebja kryesore q\u00eb mban lidhjen apo shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb.<\/p>\n
Mos harroni se njer\u00ebzit nuk presin momente t\u00eb caktuara, t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme p\u00ebr t\u00eb biseduar me nj\u00ebri-tjetrin. Ato as q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb jen\u00eb t\u00eb ndonj\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsie t\u00eb madhe. Vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb pjes\u00eb e vog\u00ebl e asaj q\u00eb thuhet \u00ebsht\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme p\u00ebr transmetimin e informatave q\u00eb arrihen p\u00ebrmes fjal\u00ebve. Pra, \u00e7do bised\u00eb te njeriu zgjon interesim. R\u00ebnd\u00ebsia e bised\u00ebs q\u00ebndron n\u00eb at\u00eb se p\u00ebrmes saj tregohet kujdesi q\u00eb kemi p\u00ebr partnerin dhe, normalisht, ai p\u00ebr ne. Prandaj, flisni edhe at\u00ebher\u00eb kur as vet\u00eb nuk e dini se p\u00ebr \u00e7ka jeni duke folur.<\/p>\n
Informacioni i cili transmetohet p\u00ebrmes fjal\u00ebve \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb lloj porosie. Ajo q\u00eb gjithashtu transmetohet te personi tjet\u00ebr, me rastin e transmetimit t\u00eb porosis\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe q\u00ebndrimi yn\u00eb ndaj personit t\u00eb cilit ia drejtojm\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb porosi e kjo quhet metaporosi.<\/p>\n
Derisa porosia shprehet me fjal\u00eb, metaporosia shprehet dhe kuptohet n\u00eb baz\u00eb t\u00eb ngjyr\u00ebs s\u00eb z\u00ebrit dhe fuqis\u00eb s\u00eb tij, n\u00eb baz\u00eb t\u00eb shprehjes s\u00eb fytyr\u00ebs, gjestikulimeve, mimik\u00ebris\u00eb etj. P\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb arsye edhe reaksioni yn\u00eb n\u00eb metagjuh\u00eb, respektivisht n\u00eb metaporosi \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb i madh se n\u00eb vet\u00eb porosin\u00eb.<\/p>\n
T\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto jan\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme p\u00ebr t\u2019i kuptuar shkaktar\u00ebt e mospajtimeve q\u00eb ndodhin midis dy t\u00eb dashuruarve. Kjo m\u00eb s\u00eb shumti vlen p\u00ebr ata q\u00eb duhen dhe q\u00eb duan q\u00eb lidhja e tyre t\u00eb zgjas\u00eb sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb. Mir\u00ebpo, sa i p\u00ebrket krijimit dhe ruajtjes s\u00eb nj\u00eb lidhjeje, k\u00ebrkesat e femrave dallojn\u00eb shum\u00eb prej atyre t\u00eb meshkujve.<\/p>\n
Shumica e vajzave thon\u00eb: \u201cPas gjith\u00eb asaj kohe q\u00eb e kemi kaluar s\u00eb bashku, ti tashm\u00eb sigurisht e di se \u00e7ka mendoj, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb nuk kam nevoj\u00eb \u00e7doher\u00eb t\u00eb tregoj se \u00e7far\u00eb dua t\u00eb them\u201d. Nd\u00ebrsa meshkujt thon\u00eb: \u201cPas gjith\u00eb asaj kohe t\u00eb kaluar s\u00eb bashku do t\u00eb duhej ti tregonim nj\u00ebri tjetrit se \u00e7ka n\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet d\u00ebshirojm\u00eb\u201d.<\/p>\n
K\u00ebto dy p\u00ebrgjigje t\u00eb kund\u00ebrta jan\u00eb edhe \u00e7el\u00ebsat kryesor t\u00eb dallimeve n\u00eb mes meshkujve dhe femrave. N\u00eb baz\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebsaj edhe komunikimi shkon kah balancimi i k\u00ebtyre nevojave krejt\u00ebsisht t\u00eb kund\u00ebrta. N\u00eb nj\u00ebr\u00ebn an\u00eb q\u00ebndrojn\u00eb nevojat p\u00ebr af\u00ebrsi dhe unitet sa m\u00eb t\u00eb madh e n\u00eb an\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr jan\u00eb nevojat p\u00ebr pavar\u00ebsi sa m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe.<\/p>\n
Edhe pse te t\u00eb dyja pal\u00ebt, si te meshkujt ashtu edhe te femrat, paraqiten k\u00ebto nevoja, te femrat dominon k\u00ebrkesa p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb e mbrojtur nd\u00ebrsa te meshkujt e kund\u00ebrta \u2013 ata k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb m\u00eb tep\u00ebr hap\u00ebsir\u00eb. K\u00ebshtu femrat shum\u00eb e \u00e7mojn\u00eb faktin se dikush mund t\u2019i kuptoj\u00eb ato edhe pa qen\u00eb nevoja t\u2019ua \u201cvizatojn\u00eb\u201d k\u00ebrkesat e tyre dhe k\u00ebshtu m\u00eb shum\u00eb kujdes i kushtojn\u00eb metaporosis\u00eb gjat\u00eb bised\u00ebs me partnerin. Kur femrat e b\u00ebjn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb, meshkujve e t\u00ebra kjo u \u201cshkon n\u00eb nerva\u201d dhe u duket shum\u00eb misterioze, k\u00ebt\u00eb e quajn\u00eb \u201cintuit\u00eb femrash\u201d (normalisht n\u00ebse pajtohen me ato q\u00eb thot\u00eb femra e tyre) ose \u201cekzagjerim fem\u00ebror\u201d (At\u00ebher\u00eb kur nuk pajtohen me at\u00eb q\u00eb thon\u00eb ato).<\/p>\n
P\u00ebrkund\u00ebr asaj se komunikimi sjell kok\u00eb\u00e7arje, ai \u00ebsht\u00eb i domosdosh\u00ebm p\u00ebr nj\u00eb lidhje. Pa t\u00eb as lidhja nuk do t\u00eb ekzistonte. Mosmarr\u00ebveshjet lindin p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb k\u00ebtij komunikimi. Mospajtimet kryesore n\u00eb mes femrave dhe meshkujve shkaktohen p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb disa imt\u00ebsive apo keqkuptimit t\u00eb asaj q\u00eb thuhet dhe asaj q\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb mendohet.<\/p>\n
Femrat shpesh l\u00ebndohen kur partneri i tyre n\u00eb vend q\u00eb t\u00eb thot\u00eb \u201cne\u201d ose \u201cneve,\u2019 thot\u00eb \u201cun\u00eb\u201d apo \u201cmua\u201d. Kur ai t\u00eb thot\u00eb: \u201cUn\u00eb jam p\u00ebr nj\u00eb sh\u00ebtitje\u201d, at\u00ebher\u00eb femra ndihet e pad\u00ebshiruar dhe e tep\u00ebrt, sepse kjo \u201cun\u00eb\u201d e ka p\u00ebrz\u00ebn\u00eb at\u00eb prej sh\u00ebtis\u00eb. Po ashtu, k\u00ebtu \u00ebsht\u00eb harruar edhe pyetja t\u00eb cil\u00ebn e d\u00ebshiron femra, \u00e7far\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb: \u201cA d\u00ebshiron t\u00eb m\u00eb bashk\u00ebngjit\u00ebsh n\u00eb sh\u00ebti?\u201d Kjo ndodh sepse metaporosia kuptohet edhe prej asaj q\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb.<\/p>\n
Prej nj\u00eb fjalie t\u00eb till\u00eb mund t\u00eb rrjedhin keqkuptime dhe k\u00ebto b\u00ebhen shkak i grindjeve. Kur t\u00eb thuhen gj\u00ebra t\u00eb tilla, at\u00ebher\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb q\u00eb ato t\u00eb kuptohen ashtu si duhet, sepse t\u00eb dy pal\u00ebt mendojn\u00eb se kan\u00eb t\u00eb drejt\u00eb dhe se partneri i tyre \u00ebsht\u00eb duke gabuar. K\u00ebshtu as q\u00eb mundohen ta zbusin situat\u00ebn derisa mundohen ta gjejn\u00eb fajtorin. Partner\u00ebt jan\u00eb t\u00eb predisponuar t\u2019i marrin fjal\u00ebt m\u00eb keq se q\u00eb jan\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb. N\u00eb biseda ata gjithher\u00eb mundohen t\u00eb gjejn\u00eb zbraz\u00ebsi duke u munduar t\u00eb gjejn\u00eb shkas p\u00ebr fjalosje. Kjo ndodh sepse natyra e njeriut \u00ebsht\u00eb e till\u00eb q\u00eb \u00e7doher\u00eb don v\u00ebrtetime, pra edhe t\u00eb asaj se dikush na do, respekton dhe vazhdimisht mendon p\u00ebr ne.<\/p>\n
Nj\u00eb egoiz\u00ebm i till\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb i dyansh\u00ebm, por q\u00eb dallon p\u00ebr disa nuanca, prandaj kujdesuni m\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebr at\u00eb q\u00eb ia thoni t\u00eb dashurit tuaj. Edhe at\u00ebher\u00eb kur doni ta kritikoni, zgjidhni fjal\u00ebt m\u00eb t\u00eb buta e kur doni t\u2019i tregoni se e doni, at\u00ebher\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb p\u00ebrs\u00ebriteni 100 her\u00eb. K\u00ebshtu do t\u2019i ikni mund\u00ebsis\u00eb s\u00eb mospajtimeve dhe do t\u00eb jeni m\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqur n\u00eb dashuri. N\u00ebse ju d\u00ebshironi ta d\u00ebgjoni m\u00eb shpesh fjal\u00ebn \u201ct\u00eb dua\u201d, jini t\u00eb sigurt se po k\u00ebt\u00eb fjal\u00eb e d\u00ebshiron edhe partneri juaj.<\/p>\n
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Gj\u00ebja m\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme p\u00ebr ata q\u00eb duhen \u00ebsht\u00eb komunikimi. Por, pse at\u00ebher\u00eb komunikimi n\u00eb dashuri sjell aq shum\u00eb mospajtime? Pse duhet t\u00eb kemi shum\u00eb kujdes se si komunikojm\u00eb me t\u00eb dashurin ton\u00eb? Jeni ulur n\u00eb lokalin tuaj m\u00eb t\u00eb dashur apo keni shkuar n\u00eb ndonj\u00eb ndej\u00eb dhe p\u00ebrnj\u00ebher\u00eb ndiheni si njeriu m\u00eb i vetmuar […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2044,"featured_media":55449,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[337,234,194],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-55448","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-kulture","8":"category-kuriozitete","9":"category-lifestyle"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/zjarr.tv\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55448","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/zjarr.tv\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/zjarr.tv\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zjarr.tv\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2044"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zjarr.tv\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=55448"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/zjarr.tv\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55448\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zjarr.tv\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/55449"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/zjarr.tv\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=55448"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zjarr.tv\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=55448"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zjarr.tv\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=55448"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}